Radio Commentary
When children become preteens, their interest in
friends and social activities often increases dramatically. Parents may then be
faced with issues of trust and peer pressure.
Preteens may resist having parents check up on their
outside activities. They may say, “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”
One good response is, “I
trust you, but I don’t like the situation you’re going to be in.” Or, “I trust
YOU to stay away from trouble, but I can’t be sure your friends will.”
Preteens may think they can avoid
peer pressure on their own, but they actually will appreciate having you help
them.
If your child is going to a party, ask a lot of
“what if” questions.
For example, say, “What if your friends dare you do
to something that is against our family’s rules?”
Many parents also report great success with “escape
lines” that allow preteens to blame you when resisting pressure.
For example, a preteen offered
alcohol can say, “No thanks. My dad always smells my breath when I come home.”
The bottom line is that parents of
preteens must sometimes be willing to be unpopular. They don’t have to let
preteens go somewhere or do something just because their friends’ parents allow
it.
Parents
must continue to set limits on behavior and be willing to say “no” when
necessary. It’s important.
