Newspaper Column
This time of year we often write about the harmful effects that can be
caused by allowing children to play with violent video games or toys. In light
of the horrific shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, the need to pay attention
becomes even more urgent.
Violent games do not necessarily cause violent behavior. But they set a
context and provide tacit approval for violent thoughts and actions. Also, by
making such purchases we are all supporting a culture of violence that is no
longer tolerable.
When buying gifts for children this holiday season, then, it’s worth
noting that many of today’s computer games and toys are shockingly violent and
the messages sent to those who play them can make a cumulative difference over
time.
We know that children learn through play and they absorb values by
mirroring what they see and hear. When we give a child a violent game, computer
game, or toy, we’re saying it’s OK to play that way, and that those activities
are acceptable. There is a subtle message being sent — and one that is
reinforced at every turn in the news — that violence is “out there,” and it’s
OK to fantasize about it.
It’s absolutely not OK for children to fantasize about violence,
especially at the personal level. We should make that message clear to young
people as early as we can.
We live in a media-saturated world and those media messages are filled
with violence. This is a big departure from earlier generations. Many of us
played with violent toys, but it was easier to separate that play from reality
because the movies we watched, the books and newspapers we read, were gentler
and more innocent than the current fare. Play and fantasy were clearly
separated from reality.
That’s not true today. Cartoons, reality shows, and computer games seem
to blend with informational shows or news. We have become numbed to tragedy and
suffering. Sometimes it has even been glorified. We hope that the tragedy in
Connecticut begins to change that culture, but we all need to do our part.
We know the pressures our children exert on us when there’s a game or toy
they really want. Especially around holiday time, we want to give children
gifts that will make them happy.
But when movies, computer games, television programs, DVDs, and even the
morning newspaper and evening news are filled with messages of violence, it
becomes more difficult to separate the fantasy messages from those of the real
world. Our children can become numb to human suffering simply because news of
it surrounds them at every turn.
As parents and relatives, we send messages to our children through
everything we do, and —whether we mean to or not — through the games and toys
we give. If we really hope to achieve a safer, more civil world, we must start
small and early, acting on the values we wish to reinforce. Actions always
speak louder than words, and giving violent toys and games can counteract what
we say to our children about kindness and compassion.
There are plenty of great games and toys available. When it comes to the
violent ones, it’s really best for our children if we simply look for something
else. That conclusion is becoming more and more self-evident. Let’s all do our
part to start counteracting the culture of violence.
