January 2, 2014
It’s hard to imagine anything more
difficult for a child than dealing with the loss of a parent or loved one.
Beyond feeling profound sadness, children must also deal with the terror of
thinking that there is no one to take care of them, the anger at being
abandoned, and the overwhelming sense of separation and loss. Young children
can also be deeply confused and bewildered, knowing the parent is gone but not
knowing why, because they don’t fully understand what death means.
Hospice of Santa Barbara, the
second-oldest hospice in the nation, has been stepping in to help children and
families cope with loss for more than 40 years.
Most hospices are medically based,
offering nursing care and support services, and are funded by Medicare and
medical insurance policies. To qualify, individuals need a diagnosis of less
than six months to live and must agree to forgo most medical treatments.
Hospice of Santa Barbara is not
medically based. It focuses on the emotional, personal, and spiritual aspects
of dying and grieving — and it provides its services to the community free of
charge. This way, free from the constraints of government or insurance funding,
counselors and social workers can spend much more time with the people who need
them. Hospice professionals help prepare the patient and the family members,
especially children, up to the time when medical hospice may be appropriate. Hospice
of Santa Barbara provides help with “anticipatory loss or bereavement” for
family members who may be struggling with the fear of a terminal diagnosis. They
also serve many families who have lost someone suddenly.
Very importantly, Hospice of Santa
Barbara has always been interested in helping teens and children. Much of the
work takes place in the program’s offices, where the number of children and
teens served has nearly tripled in the last three years. If there is a death at
a school, hospice workers go to campus and meet with teachers, faculty, and
students. With a tragic increase in suicides, hospice has created a large
response network. After the immediate emergency passes, hospice is there for
the long haul, doing grief work with anybody affected by the death.
In fact, hospice has a consistent
presence on nearly a dozen high school and middle school campuses in the South
County, where hospice staff members provide regularly scheduled individual and
group counseling sessions. Their work even extends down to the elementary
level, where more than half a dozen students at one campus alone reported the
death of a mom or dad.
“We know that children and
teenagers who lose a loved one, and who do not find help, can often experience
depression, anger, and a decline in academic performance,” said former
Executive Director Steve Jacobson. “We also know that we are giving them a
different future, a path of strengthened character and hope. The students we
are reaching in this way will become part of the local workforce in the future.
We are improving their lives in profound ways now, and those positive effects
will resonate for years to come.”
We are grateful for the efforts by
Hospice of Santa Barbara to serve our community, and their effective work in
dealing with this most devastating challenge for young people.
