Sometimes the best way to solve
a problem is to anticipate it and head it off in the first place. It’s a skill
that involves foresight and anticipation.
To help your teens develop
these traits, bring up a situation that worries you and ask what they would do
in that circumstance.
Listen carefully to their
reactions. Treat their opinions with respect. Make suggestions, but avoid the
temptation to lecture. That rarely works.
If you disagree with the
approach that your teen has provided, ask her to consider alternative actions.
Discuss different ways of reacting to a peer pressure situation.
Talk about the benefits and consequences
of various alternatives. Have your teen figure out the best course of action
based upon those consequences.
Leave the discussion open for
further consideration, and make clear that you are always available to help
clarify matters or offer suggestions.
If you don’t appear to be lecturing
or judging, your teen is more likely to take you up on that offer.
The goal is to help your child
think through issues calmly — not to force your opinion or get a reluctant
promise.
Considering options in advance
can head off problems before they arise and give your children the tools they
need to react in a positive and productive way.
