Radio Commentary
Many parents want to provide the
best they can for their children, but don’t know how to go about giving their
children what they want without spoiling them.
Some
well-meaning moms and dads can’t bear to see their children sad or
disappointed, so they give them what they plead for.
Remember
that it’s possible to set limits so that children are less likely to become
spoiled.
First, make
sure that “no” means “no” — not
“maybe.”
If you’re at all ambivalent, children
will easily pick up on it. They sense when you are uncomfortable saying no to
them.
When you
don’t send a clear message, you actually encourage pleading, whining, and even
tantrums.
Remember
that your children will test you. That’s their way of finding out if you really
mean what you say. So act secure about saying ‘no’ when you have to.
Children are not always able to make the
distinction between what they want and what they need. Parents have to do it
for them, even if it makes children momentarily unhappy.
Of course it can feel very
uncomfortable to deny children their desires. But children who get everything
they want are not necessarily happier for it. Life will not be so kind over the
long haul.
In fact, children feel much more
secure when boundaries are clear and parents are firm about the decisions they
make.
