Radio Commentary
I’ve heard some parents express concern that their
preteens don’t listen to them.
This is because preteens may adopt
an oblivious attitude or appear to “tune out.”
But parents should not underestimate their
influence. Preteens want to know their parents’ opinions and values. They only
tune out when parents lecture, preach, or scold.
So, a helpful tool for
communication with preteens is to express your opinions indirectly.
For example, you might comment on
the behavior of a television character to get a point across.
If a character is driving
recklessly, you could say, “It seems he’s being awfully irresponsible about his
friend’s safety.”
This kind of statement is usually more
effective with preteens than a direct statement like “How could he be so
reckless!” or “Don’t you ever drive like that!”
Along the same lines, if your
preteen wants to see a movie that you consider controversial, you might go see
it with her and then ask her opinions about it.
Instead of lecturing about how bad
the movie was, ask what she thought about the characters’ actions and
decisions.
This will not only give you insight
into her thinking, but can help you get your values across.
Finally, modeling the way you want your
children to act can be a very useful way of ‘giving advice’ silently. It works.
