Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Avoid spoiling

Radio Commentary

Parents want to provide the best they can for their children, but many of them don’t know how to go about giving their children what they want without spoiling them.
Some well-meaning moms and dads can’t bear to see their children sad or disappointed, so they give them everything they ask for.
Remember that it’s possible to set limits so that children are less likely to become overly indulged. 
Children are not always able to make the distinction between what they want and what they need. Parents have to do it for them, even if it makes children temporarily unhappy.
First, make sure that “no” means “no”  — not “maybe.” 
If you’re at all ambivalent, children will easily pick up on it. They sense when you are uncomfortable saying no to them.
When you don’t send a clear message, you actually reinforce pleading, whining, and even tantrums.
Remember that all children test their parents. That’s their way of finding out if you really mean what you say. So act secure about saying ‘no’ when you have to. 
Of course it can feel very uncomfortable to deny children their desires. But children who get everything they want are not necessarily happier for it. Life will not always be so kind over the long haul.
In fact, children feel much more secure when boundaries are clear and parents are consistent about the decisions they make.