Parents
want to provide the best they can for their children, but many of them don’t
know how to go about giving their children what they want without spoiling
them.
Some
well-meaning moms and dads can’t bear to see their children sad or
disappointed, so they give them everything they ask for.
Remember
that it’s possible to set limits so that children are less likely to become overly
indulged.
Children
are not always able to make the distinction between what they want and what
they need. Parents have to do it for them, even if it makes children temporarily
unhappy.
First,
make sure that “no” means “no” — not
“maybe.”
If
you’re at all ambivalent, children will easily pick up on it. They sense when
you are uncomfortable saying no to them.
When
you don’t send a clear message, you actually reinforce pleading, whining, and
even tantrums.
Remember
that all children test their parents. That’s their way of finding out if you
really mean what you say. So act secure about saying ‘no’ when you have
to.
Of
course it can feel very uncomfortable to deny children their desires. But
children who get everything they want are not necessarily happier for it. Life
will not always be so kind over the long haul.
In
fact, children feel much more secure when boundaries are clear and parents are consistent
about the decisions they make.
