Young
children tend to accept the values of their parents without question. They have
been exposed to few alternatives, so they rely on their parents to understand
what is right and wrong.
As
children grow older, however, they begin to think about a variety of options
and they are likely to question the values around them. This is a normal
process that almost all teens will go through.
The
act of questioning should not be viewed as a challenge to the beliefs of the
parents. Rather, it is a normal means of consolidating a set of values as the
foundation for the practices of a lifetime.
Friends
are important in this process. Teenagers need reactions, and their fellow teens
will listen and give honest opinions.
The
key for parents is to shore up their teen’s self-confidence and not over-react
to ideas that might be floated out just for effect.
Teens
who are unsure of themselves, and want to be accepted, are more likely to give
in to negative peer pressure. They want to be liked and they want to have their
ideas approved. They will seek that approval wherever they can find it.
Teens
who have plenty of confidence will be affected by input from their friends but
are less likely to be dominated by it. They have a sense of inner strength and
self-worth that they will not want to jeopardize.
So
be sure to show your teens you love and respect them. Knowing they can count on
you helps with their decision-making, and helps keep them grounded in the values
of the family unit.
