There
was a time when no one even considered a child’s self-esteem. Shame and blame
were acceptable forms of child-rearing and schooling. Feelings were never
considered.
Then
several studies showed that children with higher self-esteem actually performed
better. They were less afraid to ask questions if they didn’t understand. They
had more courage to tackle difficult problems.
They
had more perseverance when things went wrong. And they generally were more
successful as a result.
Then
the tables turned again.
Somehow,
efforts at building self-esteem were blamed for low test scores. Building a
child’s self-esteem took a back seat to drilling the basics.
The
truth is that self-esteem is important, and that those who have it are happier
and still outperform those who don’t.
So
here are some tips for parents who want to help develop their children’s
self-esteem:
•
Give your child responsibility. Encourage volunteerism. Doing good makes one
feel good.
•
Develop a social network that includes family, friends, school, and the
community.
•
Never humiliate your child. Try to use only constructive criticism, emphasizing
that no one is perfect and that everyone can learn from mistakes.
•
And finally, let your love be unconditional, based on your child’s worth,
rather than on specific “successes.”
