Trust
is an important issue with preteens and teenagers. Parents often wonder how
they can question their children without being accused of doubting their
judgment.
Checking
up on your children’s outside activities may not be met with enthusiasm, but it
is important.
Many
parents have heard the refrain: “I can’t believe you don’t trust me.” This can
be a young person’s way of keeping parents at a distance and feeling more
independent.
It
is not uncommon for young people to feel invincible and to resent interference
with their social life.
One
author recommends that parents respond to this resistance by saying, “We trust
you, but we are concerned about the situation you’re going to be in.”
This
response shows you’re concerned not with the child but with the circumstances
that could occur.
Point
out to your children that they won’t always have control over what can happen
when they’re at a friend’s house without adult supervision.
Ask
questions in a calm, non-confrontational way.
Safety
issues top the priority list for parents. Young people are more likely to
accept questions and supervision when it is framed in this context.
