Good parent books

Radio Commentary

Raising children is not a science, and no single book on the subject has all the answers. Many experts — and many parents — disagree on the best practices. Still, it can be comforting and helpful to read the parenting “classics.”

For generations, Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care was considered the gold standard of advice, and many people still use it that way.   Others disagree.

The following books have also been best-sellers for years:

The Happiest Baby on the Block, by Dr. Harvey Karp, provides sensible and sweet solutions for new parents.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Faber and Mazlish, offers respectful advice to lessen stress in family interactions.

John Medina’s Brain Rules for Baby focuses on infancy through age 5.  

1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, by Thomas Phelan, gives three easy steps to help kids cooperate.

Positive Discipline, by Jane Nelsen, has been helping frustrated parents for more than 25 years.

And finally, The Baby Book, by Dr. William Sears and three other members of his family, offers sound advice on physical, medical, and emotional needs.

At the end of the day, after reading some of these classics for reference and conventional wisdom, it’s important to trust your heart and your judgment. No one knows your children better than you do.

Study skills support

Radio Commentary

Researchers agree that parents who coach their children in essential study skills can make a difference that lasts a lifetime.

Parents can help by having a time and place for designated studies. They should stress the child’s sense of responsibility in completing all assignments thoroughly and accurately.

Some specific skills that parents can support include the following:

• For time management — help students list goals and schedule deadlines. Discuss ways to maintain that schedule day in and day out, even when other activities seem to interfere.
• For reference materials and libraries — take children to the library and show them how to find and use the reference materials available. 

Becoming comfortable with a library helps enormously as children’s academic assignments become more complex.

• For listening skills — children can practice listening to instructions and other verbal messages at home. Remind them that there is a difference between hearing and truly listening.
• For oral presentations — encourage children to discuss their activities, and practice oral reports at home. 

The more comfortable they become with the techniques of oral presentations at home, the more successful they will be in the classroom when those skills are needed.

Home is where study skills are learned and refined, with parents’ help. Helping children develop these skills will yield lasting, long-term benefits, while helping your children become life-long learners.

After school sports

Radio Commentary

After-school sports can be the best part of a student’s day, but they can also cause problems or become a source of high levels of stress.

Clearly there are many benefits involved with sports. Here are some of the many positives:

• Sports help students keep fit and active.
• They can help develop self-esteem through achievements on the field.
• They help students learn the value of teamwork, one of the most valuable skills a young person can develop.

Here are some of the possible challenges for students who play sports:

• Some students believe if they are good in sports, they don’t have to work hard in school. They become popular or well regarded for their athletic abilities and feel that is good enough.
• Some students find sports highly stressful if they cannot perform to their own expectations or those of their family or teammates.
• And some students want to win at any cost, no matter what. Let your child know that winning is not the only thing that matters.

The value of effort, teamwork, good sportsmanship and improved skills should all be sources of pride as well. Those are the real lessons to be learned from school sports.

Talking with Teachers - Lee Knodel

Guest: Lee Knodel
Santa Barbara High School

Cirone on Schools - Deborah Larazolo

Guest: Deborah Larazolo
Santa Barbara Cottage Hospital

Family involvement

Radio Commentary

When people hear the term “parental involvement in school,” they usually think it means taking part in PTA activities, helping to chaperone field trips, or volunteering in the classroom.

It’s important to remember that another form of parental involvement is even more crucial — taking part in education at home.
  
This means encouraging children to read, monitoring their homework, reading to them, placing reasonable restrictions on TV viewing, and making sure they go to school every day.
  
It also means talking to children about why school is important.

Many children do not always get such attention. In some cases, both parents are working and are simply too tired at night or are not inclined to do so. In single-parent families, often it is impossible for a parent to cover all these bases.

Many modern children spend at least as much time watching TV as they do in school. And, of course, if students don’t attend school regularly, they can’t benefit from what it offers.

Parents have to be around the house to supervise; they have to put pressure on their children to turn off the TV and do their homework or read. They have to make sure their kids go to school even when there is some small reason for staying home.

This kind of parental involvement is hard work, and relentless work, because it must be constant. But it’s hard to think of anything more important parents can do for their children.

Sleep for teens

Radio Commentary

For years parents and educators have known that many teens do not get enough sleep to meet their health needs. Now there is a new culprit: their cell phones.

Parents may be unaware that many teens sleep with their cell phones by their side, answering calls or text messaging throughout the night.

Research has documented that, on average, teenagers have traditionally gotten about two hours less sleep every night than they need. This increases their risk of accidents and makes them moody.

In the past, this was caused by teens generally staying up too late and waking too early for the needs of their bodies. But these figures were calculated BEFORE the prevalence of cell phones.

According to research, teen bodies need nine hours and fifteen minutes of sleep per night. Prior to the advent of cell phones as bedmates, teens were getting an average of only seven hours of sleep per night. Now the numbers are far lower.

And fitful sleep, in short bursts, is not as healthful as uninterrupted sleep, so the health implications are far more grave than ever.

For example, of the estimated 100,000 car crashes a year linked to drowsy driving, almost half involve drivers age 16-24, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. What’s more, like all of us, teens get more emotional when they are sleep-deprived.

The best thing a parent can do to help teens get the sleep they need is to make sure there is no cell phone by their side when they go to bed. Period. Turn it off and take it away. It’s good parenting.

Detail skills

Radio Commentary

People generally talk about reading and writing in the same breath. Certainly, many of the skills that make children successful in one subject make them good in the other.

For example, one important reading skill that benefits from writing practice is identification of details.

Parents should encourage children to provide details in their own written and verbal stories. This will help them become more aware of the way other authors use detail.

One writing exercise requiring detail is to have children give directions. Ask them to write very specifically how to get from home to school, or how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

When children write thank-you notes to friends or relatives, have them describe in detail the gift they received and how they will use it.

You can also have children use a clipboard when watching TV. Have them jot down ad slogans that use good details.

They might write down phrases such as “the brightest, sharpest photos” or “crispy, crunchy crackers.”

Children can also take the clipboard along on family outings. Ask them to describe the “prettiest” thing they see on the trip, or the “most unusual.” Then challenge them to list as many details and descriptions as they can.

One way teachers measure improvement in young writers is to look at their use of details. The same is also true for improving reading comprehension: details matter.