Punishment is a negative
consequence of bad behavior that has already occurred. Discipline is a positive
way to focus on future behavior.
Here are rules for loving
discipline that many parents have found helpful:
• Change
misbehavior by setting positive goals to strive for, rather than negative ones
to avoid.
• Say
what you mean and mean what you say. Children have an uncanny way of knowing
the difference.
• Involve
your children in solving problems to show you value their judgment.
• Talk
less; do more.
• Ask
what happened to cause a certain misbehavior. The cause may be very different
from what you suspected.
• Make
clear what you want from your children and praise them when they do it.
• Impose
logical consequences for any misbehavior. Be sure the cause-and-effect link is
clear.
• Give
your children choices — but make sure you can live with them. If not, discuss
the issue and explain why another choice might be better.
• Focus
on what’s good about your children, and expect their very best.
And always show your love.
